Photo:Liz Deverill
Photo:Liz Deverill
Liz Deverill
In 2007 Liz Deverill was violently mugged in a small coastal town on the west coast of Scotland where she lives. Her recovery began that same day, with an urge to forgive born out of immediate compassion for her attacker.
Thursday September 13th, 2007, began in much the same way as any other day. I had been into town to print off some photos at Boots and was walking home along a steep, narrow path when I heard a voice behind me.
I instinctively turned around to see if the person was talking to me. However, the next thing I remember was coming to a standing position and looking immediately to my left. I saw a chap running down the road with a handbag which bizarrely, looked extremely comical. I focused in on his filthy white trainers and long khaki jacket with a fur lined hood. I can remember (although I was feeling very hazy by then) how vulnerable he looked and I felt this overwhelming feeling of compassion towards this dishevelled looking young guy.
The odd thing was that I was about 50 yards from the spot where I had turned around to look at the person behind me who I thought had said something to me. I managed to stagger to a B & B as my legs felt like jelly. The door opened and a woman, looking very shocked and surprised, led me to a stool and sat me down. The next thing I recall was a policewoman helping me into an ambulance and then nothing. I had lost consciousness.
It was around 12pm when I left Boots and when I woke up my husband was sitting in a chair next to me, looking very anxious. He told me I was in hospital and had had my head stitched as I had a fractured skull. He told me it was 5.30pm and that I had been attacked by someone as I was walking home. I had a swollen eye and cheek and my face was covered in cuts and bruises.
At the hospital, as the shock of what happened began to dissipate and after I had slept well for a few nights, my anger emerged. I remember expressing it to a nurse, “What gave him the right to think it was ok to grab my bag, in the hope of getting money to pay for something to make HIM feel better! I have a husband and children and grandchildren who would be left to cope if I hadn’t survived the attack!” There was even a feeling of wanting revenge of some sort. I also felt fear and anxiety that I would always be looking behind me, never be able to walk anywhere unaccompanied. I was worried that my mental capacity would be affected, and I felt frustrated that I couldn’t remember his face!
Thus began my recovery and the CID’s (Criminal Investigation Department) efforts to find out who was responsible. They showed me many ID photo fits over the next week, but I told them repeatedly that I only saw the back of his head as he ran down the road after he snatched my bag.
Always, when questioned, I was very clear that even though I knew I could have been much more seriously injured, I felt no ill will towards him. That glimpse I got of him seemed to convey to me everything I needed to know about him. The lovely Victim Support lady came to see me when I was discharged from hospital ten days later. I told her I had forgiven him and she was very pleased that I sounded so positive about it all.
Once I had worked through my feelings of anger, I felt only compassion towards my attacker. I surmised that he had mental health problems and an addiction of some sort, maybe he was homeless too? Maybe he had no family or had been thrown out of his family home?
I then decided it was time to return to work. I had been awarded a payment under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme which I used to book a holiday with my son, his wife and children. I had a suspected detached retina but thankfully, it proved not to be the case. So, as time went by, I returned to normal life and the CID closed the case as their leads had come to nothing.
It was suggested to me much later that if anyone confessed, I may like to consider restorative justice. I certainly would have done but sadly, 19 years on from the incident, that has never happened.
I’ve often wondered how his life turned out and what led him to attack and rob a 51-year-old woman? Perhaps my story will resonate with other young men who have done a similar thing? I would urge them to think about reaching out for help and perhaps taking part in a restorative justice programme. I believe my attacker had complex problems and he may very well have not agreed to meet me but I would have liked to have at least been given the opportunity.
For me it’s about making more sensible choices in life. It’s something we choose to do and leads ultimately to maintaining positive relationships and better mental health. In my case I often make the analogy of a train journey because all the various emotions I’ve felt along the way have been part of that journey – culminating in forgiveness. Forgiveness is where I alighted, feeling that the train was carrying those negative emotions away into the distance whilst I, with a sense of profound peace, and feelings of hope and acceptance, headed towards a new chapter in my life.
