Who deserves to be forgiven?

Stories | Questions | Who deserves to be forgiven?

Forgiveness must be a personal choice: it ceases to be helpful if pushed or prescribed. No one has the authority to decide who should forgive and equally the stories on this website show that there are no rules when it comes to who deserves to be forgiven and who does not.

A pioneer of Restorative Justice, John Braithwaite, once said: "Forgiveness is a gift. We destroy its power as a gift by making it a duty."

Marian Partington

"My work has been about connecting with Rosemary West’s humanity and refusing to go down the far easier path of demonizing her."

Jo Berry and Patrick Magee

“I'm beginning to realise that no matter which side of the conflict you're on, had we all lived each others lives, we could all have done what the other did.”

Bud Welch

"About a year before the execution I found it in my heart to forgive Tim McVeigh. It was a release for me rather than for him."

Eva Kor

"I forgive not because they deserve it but because I deserve it."

Stories | Questions | Who deserves to be forigven? | Themes | Countries

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Karsten Mathiasen

Karsten Mathiasen is a Danish clown and storyteller. After going through a bitter marital breakdown, Karsten battled extreme sorrow and anger. This experience caused him to confront his own actions, and to embark on a journey of personal healing and forgiveness.
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Further resources

What is forgiveness and why do we even choose to forgive those who have harmed us? The Forgiveness Project’s books and toolboxes explore these questions together with skills that enable individuals and groups to transform the impact of harm and violence.
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This series of three lessons explores whether forgiveness is possible in the most extreme cases of war and genocide.
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The quest for forgiveness is universal, empowering people of all beliefs and backgrounds to break the cycle of violence and build resilient communities. Start your journey now.
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Learn more about our team, trustees and founding patrons.
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Support us

The Forgiveness Project is where it is today largely because of the support of countless passionate individuals helping us in many different ways. Read more

Where does justice fit in?

Some people are able to forgive only after justice has been done; for them forgiveness therefore depends on acknowledgement, accountability or the infliction of some kind of penalty or punishment. For others forgiveness is entirely unconditional, providing a sense of peace, freedom and resolution that no justice system could achieve. Read more

RESTORE Programme

RESTORE is The Forgiveness Project’s award-winning, intensive group based intervention programme that supports prisoners in their process of change towards desistance from crime. Read more

Education Resources

The Forgiveness Project’s Education Resources aim to support schools to develop a dialogue with students around forgiveness and to encourage communities to foster more empathic and compassionate behaviours. Read more

The F Word exhibition

The F Word: Stories of Forgiveness exhibition is a thought provoking collection of arresting images and personal narratives exploring forgiveness in the face of atrocity. Read more

Stories

The quest for forgiveness is universal, empowering people of all beliefs and backgrounds to break the cycle of violence and build resilient communities. Start your journey now. Read more

Mark Henderson

In 2003 film-maker Mark Henderson was trekking in the Colombian jungle with a group of tourists when he was taken hostage by the Ejército de Liberación Nacional. Mark, along with four Israelis, were held for a total of 101 days. Read more

Tracey Ford

In 2007 Tracey Ford was a single mother, running her own business and looking after her two children, 14-year-old Becky and 17-year-old Andre. Whilst at his friend’s ice-skating party Andre was shot dead. From this shattering event, Tracy chose to set aside hate and use forgiveness as a force for change. Read more

Karsten Mathiasen

Karsten Mathiasen is a Danish clown and storyteller. After going through a bitter marital breakdown, Karsten battled extreme sorrow and anger. This experience caused him to confront his own actions, and to embark on a journey of personal healing and forgiveness. Read more

Idan Barir

Idan Barir is from Tel Aviv, Israel, and served in the Israeli artillery corps for many years, including during the Second Intifada. After witnessing immoral Israeli military operations, Barir refused to perform further military service and was jailed for this refusal in 2009. Read more

Denise Green

In 1999, Denise Green and her husband Bill discovered that their son William was one of hundreds of children whose organs were removed without consent for research purposes. As parents prepared for multiple burials, the Health Secretary Alan Milburn described what happened at Alder Hey as “unforgivable”. Read more