Who deserves to be forgiven?

Stories | Questions | Who deserves to be forgiven?

Forgiveness must be a personal choice: it ceases to be helpful if pushed or prescribed. No one has the authority to decide who should forgive and equally the stories on this website show that there are no rules when it comes to who deserves to be forgiven and who does not.

A pioneer of Restorative Justice, John Braithwaite, once said: "Forgiveness is a gift. We destroy its power as a gift by making it a duty."

Marian Partington

"My work has been about connecting with Rosemary West’s humanity and refusing to go down the far easier path of demonizing her."

Jo Berry and Patrick Magee

“I'm beginning to realise that no matter which side of the conflict you're on, had we all lived each others lives, we could all have done what the other did.”

Bud Welch

"About a year before the execution I found it in my heart to forgive Tim McVeigh. It was a release for me rather than for him."

Eva Kor

"I forgive not because they deserve it but because I deserve it."

Stories | Questions | Who deserves to be forigven? | Themes | Countries

Comments (0)

Comment (maximum 3500 characters) *

Add an image

Add a video

Notify me when someone makes a comment

First name *

Last name *

Email *

Which country do you live in?

Please enter your postcode*

Address line 1

Address line 2

Town or city

Keeping In Touch

We'd love to keep you posted with our news, activities and how you can help in other ways. We'll never sell or swap your details with anybody else. You are free to change your mind at anytime. Please indicate how you would like to hear from us by using the tick boxes below

Via email

Via telephone

Via SMS

Via post

Which country do you live in?

Please enter your postcode*

Address line 1

Address line 2

Town or city

Your Privacy

We will always store your personal details securely. We'll use them to provide the service that you have requested, and communicate with you in the way(s) that you have agreed to. Your data may also be used for analysis purposes, to help us provide the best service possible. For full details see our Privacy Policy

By submitting this form you are agreeing to our terms and conditions

Latest

Forgiveness is Really Strange

"This book will become a moral guide to readers, including young people, on how to make the world a better place." - Prof. Simon Baron-Cohen
Ish Kode Bish Iki / Morris (Doc) Mosay

Ish Kode Bish Iki (Morris ‘Doc’ Mosay) was taken from his family as a young boy and placed in a Native American boarding school where children were immersed in European-American culture in order to “civilize” and “Christianize” them. The number of Native American children in these schools reached a peak in the 1970s, with an estimated enrollment of 60,000.
Charlotte Maude

In April 1999, three-year-old Isabel Maude suffered multiple organ failure and cardiac arrest as a result of doctors failing to recognise the life-threatening symptoms of Necrotising Fasciitis, a bacteria that rapidly eats the flesh. Isabel survived, but was left with a large wound requiring extensive plastic surgery.
Sammy Rangel

Sammy Rangel spent most of his early years in mental institutions, foster homes, and detention homes. It wasn’t until a drug abuse program helped him rehabilitate that Sammy began to further his education and start working for a Safe Streets Outreach Program in Wisconsin.

Further resources

What is forgiveness and why do we even choose to forgive those who have harmed us? The Forgiveness Project’s books and toolboxes explore these questions together with skills that enable individuals and groups to transform the impact of harm and violence.
Forgiving the Unforgivable

This series of three lessons explores whether forgiveness is possible in the most extreme cases of war and genocide.
Why do people forgive?

This series of three lessons explores why people choose to forgive, as well as the role of compassion and empathy in the process of forgiveness. It also looks at the differences and similarities between cycles of revenge and forgiveness.
Forgiveness and Justice

This series of three lessons explores what Restorative Justice means, how it differs from Criminal Justice and the impact it can have on victims and offenders.
Why do people forgive?

“To forgive is not just to be altruistic, it is the best form of self-interest”, observed Desmond Tutu. Forgiving can be liberating, it helps victims regain self-control, puts an end to intrusive and traumatic memories and allows people to reconcile with pain.
Being curious

Curiosity is the antidote to hate and a vital ingredient of forgiveness. Being curious sets light to the imagination, to wonder why?
Feeling pain and anger

While a season of anger may well be necessary in order to reconcile with pain, lasting anger and enduring hate can create cycles of self-destructive behaviour.
How can large-scale injustices be forgiven?

When victims and survivors realise that violence only creates further violence, forgiveness may be the only thing left to break the cycle of destruction.
The F Word exhibition

The F Word: Stories of Forgiveness exhibition is a thought provoking collection of arresting images and personal narratives exploring forgiveness in the face of atrocity.
Education Programme

We believe that understanding and valuing others is key to creating a common humanity, and that children and young people have the ability to change and improve the future through their thinking and actions.

Stories

"I would venture into the jaws of hell if my story could shift just one person's views and move them away from violence." - Assaad Chaftari
Themes

Analysis of the many stories The Forgiveness Project has collected over the years shows that while forgiveness is not a linear process, and seldom a one-off event, nevertheless certain qualities and values feature in most of the stories.
Our Purpose

The Forgiveness Project shares stories of forgiveness in order to build hope, empathy and understanding.
Countries

These stories come from all over the world and whether they focus on mending broken hearts or broken communities, show that forgiveness is about connecting to a common, shared humanity.
Kemal Pervanic

Kemal Pervanic is a survivor of the notorious Omarska concentration camp, which was set up by Bosnian Serb forces in the early days of the Bosnian War. The camp, nominally an ‘investigation centre’, was uncovered by British journalists in 1992, leading to international outrage and condemnation.
Questions

The Forgiveness Project’s unique contribution to this debate is to provide a space of enquiry rather than argument, to ask questions rather than provide answers, and to explore key aspects of forgiveness and its impact through individual real life stories.
Education Resources

The Forgiveness Project’s Education Resources aim to support schools to develop a dialogue with students around forgiveness and to encourage communities to foster more empathic and compassionate behaviours.
People

Learn more about our team, trustees and founding patrons.
RESTORE Programme

RESTORE is The Forgiveness Project’s award-winning, intensive group based intervention programme that supports prisoners in their process of change towards desistance from crime.
The F Word exhibition

The F Word: Stories of Forgiveness exhibition is a thought provoking collection of arresting images and personal narratives exploring forgiveness in the face of atrocity.