Stories | Questions | How can you forgive without an apology?

For most people forgiveness has conditions. For example, some people will only forgive if they receive a genuine apology. For others, forgiveness is an act of self-preservation and to wait for an apology simply puts control in the wrong hands.

Forgiveness may be an entirely practical way of rebuilding a broken relationship, but equally you can choose to release a relationship that’s harming you and still forgive. In other words, forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

Susan Waters

"As an act of restorative justice, I asked for some of his bequest to cover therapy costs, which was given without apology."

Fr Michael Lapsley

“I haven’t forgiven anyone, because I have no one to forgive. No one was charged with this crime, and so for me forgiveness is still an abstract concept.”

Anne-Marie Hagan

"Forgiveness cannot be conditional on remorse, because that would mean we can only forgive those who are sorry."

Magdeline Makola

"Forgiveness is different from trusting. You don’t have to trust someone just because they are forgiven."

Dr. Chuck Sandstrom

"There was a moment in the court room pretrial when Michael turned and looked my way. Our eyes met. All either of us saw in the other’s eyes at that moment was compassion. As a result Auburn and I made a decision to 'join the defense'."

Liz Stone

"Softly the answer came; ‘forgiveness is mine to give, his reaction is irrelevant’."

Tracey Ford

"If the perpetrators ever come to me full of remorse I’d have compassion."

Terry Caffey

“I want them to wake up every day and think about what they took and hopefully one day they will find remorse in their hearts.”

Stephanie Cassatly

"It would obviously be so much easier to forgive someone who showed remorse, but somehow I felt that shouldn’t drive my decision."

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